I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want her autograph on my taint
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
