dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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