I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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