I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
