? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You took a bar mat shot.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
