don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
