Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
