eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
