Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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