only if we run a train.
done.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
