My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
