DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
