It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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