I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
