I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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