she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
