I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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