Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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