Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
