Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
