We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
