I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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