I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
