you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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