we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
