This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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