Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love having hate sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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