Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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