He told me they were just razor bumps!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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