Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
