I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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