Don't you send me to vm
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
