my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
