I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
