I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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