I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
