Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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