Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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