I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
