I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
