I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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