The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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