Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
from now on my penis is your penis
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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