Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
