Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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