dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
