I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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