okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have feelings that need drinking.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
