You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
PANTIES FOUND
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