OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
