what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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