I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
